How Assertive Parenting Style Is Most Effective In Disciplining Children?

Watching children who have fallen behind their peers, we often say something like “Oh that boy turned out that mean because his parents were spoiling him all the time” or “Look at that girl! If only her dad wasn’t so strict with her, she would have ended up a charming girl”. Without really thinking about it, we emphasize here a connection between parents’ attitudes towards their children and children’s’ corresponding behaviour.

In a scientific reality, what we observe in these cases are different parenting styles and how they result in various children behaviour. Different discipline styles have different results in children’s behaviour.

Four Parenting Styles

Experts in parenthood define four major parenting styles, aggressive, assertive, permissive, and neglectful, depending on the degree of warmth and demandingness in the parent-child relationship. Those styles are based on the work of Maccoby and Martin, a developmental psychologists.

1. Aggressive

An aggressive style is common for parents who are unresponsive, have strict rules with high expectations for their child, often expecting from them a blind obedience.

2. Assertive

Parents with an assertive style have very warm relations with their children, are responsive, have clear rules with high expectations, yet are extremely supportive and value child’s independence. Parents using this approach are willing to listen to their children and yet still hold firm when needed.

3. Permissive

A permissive style combines warm and responsive interactions with few or no rules. A permissive parents are very nurturing but show very little or inconsistent discipline.

4. Neglectful

While permissive parents are often indulgent and lenient, neglectful ones are the complete opposite: they are cold, unresponsive, have no rules as they are uninvolved in the child’s life, often observed to be indifferent and unsympathetic toward their kids.These parents still provide for basic needs, such as clothing and feeding but show little or no interest in their children.

Different Aspects of Assertive Parenting Style

Parents that use assertive approach are usually playing a role of a mediator. They listen to their child’s wishes and demands, yet hold firm and respect the rules, trying to find a solution that will meet both kid’s and parent’s needs. Setting clear limits, fair yet flexible rules, allow parents to not get side-tracked while giving the child an opportunity to participate in a decision-making process and providing her with a sense of safety.

Parents that follow an assertive parenting style stay persistent and patient until their requests are followed, they know how to politely refuse a child’s demand, giving brief reasoning and setting fair consequences. An assertive parent is the one who encourages responsibilities while providing her child a consistent advice and explanations along with supporting the infant’s interests and curiosity.


The Reasons Why Assertive Parenting Style is most Effective in Disciplining Children

Many experts agree that assertive style is the most effective and most successful. This parenting style is most successful because it uses a healthy balance of both nurture and structure.

Children of assertive parents develop a well-balanced behaviour and a strong self-confidence. They also establish a healthy and close relationship with their parents. Youngsters raised by assertive parents feel lovable and admirable, consequently, they are more self-confident and emotionally mature, what helps them to easily achieve success in studies and social life.

Moreover, these children learn from the very young age to respect opinions of other people, are more kind and open-minded. Giving your child a choice and providing arguments to each of your decisions result in a more responsible and independent kid who is capable of handling difficult and frustrating situations. Children of assertive parents showcase higher academic performance, stronger self-esteem, better social skills and a lower rate of misbehaviour.

To conclude, knowledge of the different parenting styles and the outcomes associated with each can be very helpful in deciding what parenting style you would like to adopt with your children. However, you need to have in mind that even though all this is based on research and statistics, these are still not certainties. Ultimately, you must do what works for you and your family.

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