10 Positive Parenting Suggestions That Will Help You Bond With Your Child
As parents, we all crave healthy relationships with our kids, based on trust, honesty and unconditional love and support. However, the traditional disciplining methods we have seen growing up ourselves fail us and may end up doing more bad than good. Punishments, threats or timeouts may work in the short term, but they eventually cause mistrust, fear, even anxiety and create a shaky bond with your child.
Positive parenting, on the other hand, helps build a solid foundation. It leverages the three-pronged focus of positive psychology – happiness, resilience, and positive youth development.
When the connection with our children is stronger, we become our kids’ allies, rather than adversaries and parenting becomes a superpower. This guide will explore ten tips from a positive parenting perspective that will help you strengthen the connection in a healthy way.
1. Find Out What’s Bothering Your Child
It’s understandable to be concerned and to want to intervene and protect your child when something is bothering them. An important thing to remember is to always leave the door open for your child to talk with you when they are ready. Kids don’t respond well to being pressured to share, so make sure you always use a positive and discreet approach.
2. Always Use Words That Are Positive In Tone And Meaning
Like all humans, kids have bad days too. When something happens to your child like losing a game or scoring poorly on a test, harsh words do not help. Motivate them instead, with positive words, teaching them in the process what steps to take to improve.
3. Always Make Your Child Comfortable
Children only behave in unusual ways when they sense discomfort in their environment or are uncomfortable about actions they witness. To improve such situations, be sure that new surroundings – even crowded ones help your child feel relaxed.
Staying close to them and reassuring them that change in environment is normal is the best course of action. Sticking together will only strengthen the bond between you and your kids and can encourage them to open up and communicate with you better.
4. Be Lavish With Praise Once The Child’s Actions Deserve It
Besides academic achievements at school or yearly trophies from the Little League, there are plenty of opportunities to praise your child.
Have you considered praising them when they try something new? It could be anything like finishing their meal, attempting to walk from one part of the room to the other (even if with numerous falls), behaving well before guests, and so on.
If it makes you smile or chuckle, you could vocalize your praise for them. Do this on an ongoing basis, as often as you notice something praiseworthy. It will encourage them to practice that act repeatedly.
5. Avoid Being The Source Of Tantrums
Kids display tantrums when they don’t get their way, or when stuff happens in ways they are uncomfortable with or never expected.
If you take the time to understand your child’s mentality and preferences, then respond accordingly, you could easily transform these episodes into meaningful bonding events. More than that, you will be able to understand yourself and your triggers and how best to manage them.
6. Be The Teacher Your Child Deserves
The first teacher (and the best!) for your child is you – the parent. You could become a role model for them and guide them in the right direction.
This gives them the ability to separate right from wrong at an early age.
Yelling and blaming is counterproductive. As a good teacher, focus on supporting them and helping them understand why they are angry. This will support them tremendously.
7. Use Distractions To Your Advantage
Adults often avoid distractions, as soon as they understand how it limits their potential. You can, however, use distraction to your advantage when working or playing together with your child.
How? You ask.
Now, most kids will ask, beg, or coerce their parents to get candies, chocolates, or toys far beyond their current age.
They get moody when they don’t get it. To help your children overcome such state of mind, you could redirect their attention towards other things they show immense interest in.
These activities will include playing games they enjoy, reading books that make them chuckle or laugh, singing songs or playing music they can sing along to, and bob their heads or dance to.
Going outside for a walk or stroll is also another potent distraction technique, as is letting them join you in baking activities around the kitchen. You’ll grow vital awareness to connect with your kids in simple, playful ways.
8. Maintain Straight Face Contact
A popular author on positive discipline for preschoolers, Jane Nelsen, tells us it is always important while redirecting the challenging behavior, to maintain a straight face contact with your child. This helps you understand them better. The other key benefit of this is that they end up not being afraid of you, their parent.
9. Allow Your Child The Freedom To Choose
As a parent, realizing your child is a person with valid needs, wants, and preferences can make all the difference. Let them choose their desired clothes, toys, books, colors, cartoons, television channels, among others.
There is substantial evidence that it’s best to do this, considering there’s the benefit of teaching them to show responsibility and do things exactly how they want it.
10. Pocket Money Is A Means To Teach Key Life Lessons
Teaching kids the habit of saving money in their early stages is always a good thing. Giving pocket money in the right amounts and helping kids understand the value of spending wisely will teach them confidence in money matters teach them how pocket money can help them fulfill important personal needs. You’ll be amazed at how interested they’ll be in your ideas.
Understanding your role as a parent and how exactly you fit into the expressions that your child displays are an amazing thing to accomplish. Kids have an innate trust in their parents. Positive parenting ensures that parents can continue to nurture an atmosphere that keeps their kids calm more often than not.
|Amy Petrou is a content advocate at GenMindful.com and a mother of two. In her free time, you will find her writing on her blog, reading|